Introduction

One of my all-time pet peeves is a greasy sausage roll. I don't like them and they make me feel wrong. Even the sacred Greggs vegan sausage rolls I'm not overly keen on (yeah I know, don't hate me).

Now, having said that, I can compromise on a decent sausage roll if it coalesces well and doesn't taste like a squeezing of gristly horribleness wrapped in a sweaty shoe's insole.

So what do I think about these ones then...let's find out.

Welcome to my honest review of the No Porkies Sausage Rolls.
I hope you find it both entertaining and informative.

Enjoy!

Taste

A good sausage roll should have layers; no I'm not talking about onions, ogres, or Photoshop. I'm talking about subtle flavour sensations from meaty goodness mixed with delicate peppery pops to herbly undertones. Okay fine, yes, I realise it's just a sausage roll but, if your gonna do one, you had damned well better do it right! Right?

So, do No Porkies do sausage rolls right....well, for the most part, yes!

They taste great in fact.

The filling has a nice flavour to it, albeit that of a pretty traditional "plain-old" sausage roll. But, given that there is no meat inside, I really do have to commend them on that one. As a direct replica, I think most people would not be able to tell the difference!

My only criticism is that it could probably use a touch more seasoning, but then again if you prefer a more muted sausage roll (ewww, no) then these will probably be right up your street.

Score: 4 / 5

Texture

Speaking of Greggs (again), these No Porkies sausage rolls are actually very similar in texture too. The filling is firm yet not too dense and the pastry is somewhat flaky (if not a tad too greasy for me, as mentioned) as to give light to moderate bites.

Overall though, not the most amazing feeling thing I've ever put in my mouth....but then again, definitely not the most unpleasant.

Score: 3.5 / 5

Value

So this box comes with a set of 6 frozen ready-to-cook-at-home sausage rolls. They are all decent enough in size (similar to, that's right - you guessed it, Greggs) and the instructions are straightforward enough: whack them in a hot oven for a bit (kidding, 25-27 mins at oven temperature, from frozen).

But, from a value point-of-view, I really can't argue with them: I paid £2.00 for the box of 6, that's just 33p PER ROLL!

At this price I really can't fault them and they truly are a bloody bargain; or blumming great value for money, if you prefer a more urbane form of language 🧐

Score: 5 / 5

Final Thoughts

As far as sausage rolls go, these are pretty much the perfect no-frills, pre-made, bake-at-home alternatives that you'll find. If you're a fan of Greggs you are sure to love them, meat-eaters alike.

The price is fantastic, the taste is pleasing, and the texture (while not exactly my personal utopian dream) is very much acceptable. Couple this with the fact that they are 100% vegan and then well, what else is there to say really, except......

....comb your moustache, pop your wellies on, and get out there and bloody buy some, THAT'S WHAT.

Thanks for reading 💚